How to recognize a King – and what does he look for in his Queen?

dating friendship relating relationships selflove soul love soul-group soul-love Oct 04, 2020

First, and foremost remember this... Not every man is yet a King, and not every King is YOUR King. That’s ok. Remember if he’s not the one, he’s still one on the way, so here’s some hints on how to recognise a man who is ready to be King, and who he is looking for as his Queen.

Most men want to be around a woman who makes him feel good.  A huge part of this is how he feels about who HE is when he is with her

..unless, he’s validating a story about not being good enough himself, in which case he will look for a woman who feeds this belief, but that’s another story..  

A man who has not become whole within himself, will be with a lesser woman because she makes him feel good about who he is, without having to work for it’ve probably known some grown men who have chosen a woman who is yet to come into her own and wondered why? Well, though you might not like it….this is why! 

A King, on the other hand, is a man who has learned to take responsibility for his life, who has managed to carve his way in the world in his own way that makes him feel accomplished and purposeful, who follows through on his word and owns his impact on others, who knows his own power and uses it wisely.  This man has done his work. 

And this man…HE wants to be with a woman who makes him feel good about who he is as well as holding him accountable to, and inspiring him to, want to be a better man. 

“You make me want to be a better man”
Jack Nicholson ~ As Good as it Gets

He wants to be with a woman who has also done her work.  She is a powerfully feminine force. Beautiful from the core, she knows her worth, loves fearlessly and openly and what she has to offer a high value man.  And because she has, she doesn’t settle for less. This is what makes her a woman worth being with. 

Many men will go through various phases on the way to being King. No doubt you’ve dated one! Perhaps you’ve met a ‘Knight.’ A man proving himself and his worth by conquering lands, dragons and princesses, battling other men and accumulating treasure. 

Perhaps, a ‘Jester’, not being responsible or courageous, joking to deflect from himself, running away from problems, (or you if thinks he will hurt you, doesn’t feel like a man around you or have what it takes to make you happy, just isn’t into you…or and the many other reasons some men disappear without you ever knowing why). 

Maybe you’ve dated a ‘Randy Stablehand’, not capable of having a healthy relationship with the feminine and therefore not able to honour her, taking her to bed to prove his manliness to himself or other men or to feed carnal cravings without regard to the impact on her, needing feminine energy but being afraid of being hurt so being non-committal to avoid emotional depth. 

Or have you held hands with the Queen’s Prince. A Peter-pan type, never graduating from boyhood and coming out from behind his mother’s skirt-tails. Not stepping up into his masculine power, being ungrounded, uncertain, directionless, not trusting himself, being ill equipped to hold space for the feminine? 

Of course, these elements might come up from time to time in a King, but if this is the life stage a man is at, he is NOT READY to be a KING. You have no doubt already helped many men through these phases in both of your individual growth journey’s – however if you are looking for a sustainable, ongoing healthy love partnership, it is not your responsibility to graduate your man.  It is up to him to mature past this point and be ready for you when you meet. 

What IS your responsibility is to take ownership of your own crown, doing your own work so that you are Queen of your own life and owning your Queendom.

It’s up to YOU to ascertain the level of maturity in the man you are dating and decide if he is able and choosing to be what you want in a partner.  

Unfortunately, if someone is unwilling or unable to give us what we need then it’s not a match – simple as that.  

But don’t worry, the more you are ok with what you truly want; with knowing what you deserve and with being ok that not everyone – hell maybe not even most! – will be able to give it to you..

..for every time you say NO to less;

..for getting clear on what you truly desire;

You are Saying YES to inviting what you TRULY desire into your life and opening up the space for that to come into your physical experience.   

And when he does you will be ready …

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