On self love & forgiving the self..

self self-compassion self-forgivenss self-love Nov 07, 2020

Forgiveness is a huge part of healing the past & creating the space for new relationship dynamics to come in. Whether that be with past lovers, partners, friends or business collaborators.

But what about forgiving the self?

A client just asked me about this so thought I’d share with y’all…

Our self relationship is the most important relationship of all, including having compassion & love for that part of you who has done things you wish she could take back – we’ve ALLLLL been there by the way! (God knows I have :-0)

Please remember though, this part of you, only did what she did then because that was the best way she knew how at the time.

We always use whatever resources we know best as the tools we have at disposal to survive certain situations WHEN they happen, with who we are and what we knew - then...

So, for example if we coped with alcohol or drugs or other destructive behaviour…

If we stayed in a shitty relationship dynamic, job or other situation…

If we spoke harshly to protect our unconscious vulnerabilities, hurt someone intentionally or unintentionally because of unconsciously unhealed wounds or acted in a way that we are ashamed of…

We did so because that’s the best way we knew to cope at the level of consciousness we were at then...but it’s not who we are & it doesn’t define us.

Let me tell you this for free, in all my years being privy to thousands of personal stories, I’m yet to meet anyone who doesn’t carry something they wish they hadn’t done, wish they could back or hope no-one finds out about.

Some of us have many things.

E.V.E.R.Y.O.N.E has something.

It’s part of the messiness of being human and trying to learn how to do this life thing.

Forgiveness starts with letting this part of you, know you love her and forgive her and understand why she needed to go to the places that she did then...and that now we're in a different place.

We know more now, we have more tools & access to more empowering ways to navigate the world around us.   

Thank her for keeping you safe until now…and then let her go.

The most important thing is not who you were or what you’ve done, but who you are choosing to be with each & every thought, and each & every action, in each & every moment from this one forward, to become the woman you are destined to be.

Love, truth & freedom

 

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